Happy father's day to my beloved father. Love u pa!..and to all fathers out there same thing too...and to some who are fathers at nature but refused to be one..." magpakatatay ka, once and for all!"


It has been a family-spent weekend. There were lots of pains encountered during weekend but because I had the whole weekend with my family, it was well worth spending quality time. xxx would not know this because he was too occupied with his thing. By the time he realized the mess, things have worsened. I was at the peak of my anger and I've said so many things that had hurt the both of us. I know someday I'll regret this, I'll be in the losing end but things have happened uncontrollably. I can't do anything. To make the long story short, We ended the weekend saying farewells.

-monday-

Im so sad. It feels bad to have guilt, anger, and sadness at the same time. Did nothing the whole afternoon but to watch dvd. While pretending to be so attentive to the movie, someone came knocking at our gate. Damn, I ignored it. He knocked again, this time a little harder (may gigil kumbaga). My mom went out to see who the person is. It turned out to be someone from designer blooms delivering a bouquet of roses...from him. Don't know what I felt on that moment. There's this card attached to the flowers that reads:

"I will never go down without a fight
I will fight for this relationship.
Sorry for being like this." (what is there to apologize for?..being persistent? I should be thankful though)

" The greatest regrets in our lives are the risks we did not take. If you think something will make you happy, go for it. Remember that you pass this way only once"

ayyyyy...how sweet of him..hope he doesn't mind me putting his words here.
Okay, tell me now...I'm the culprit, right? but I have reasons for being mad yesterday. I've said so many things and I know he does not deserve that treatment. He doesn't deserve me at all. Self pity? nah... If u know us that well...you'll have the same sentiments. He's too good 4 me. Di nya alam un, and I want him to realize that. And when the time comes he realize things, that will be my most dreadful day. I don't know if I could handle it, I just don't want to be selfish. Relationships nga naman, and here I go again...so confused and depressed.